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Mommy Mental Fatigue


Before I was diagnosed, I thought I was the worst mom ever. I would start my day feeling pretty good but about an hour into my day, I started to decline. This is still the case but now I understand why and I realize I'm basically fighting a losing battle with myself. 

Everyday it's still the same. I start my day feeling okay and then feel myself start to decline right after I do school drop off. After doing all of my mommy duties and taking a break for lunch, I am excited to get the kids and do some fun activities. I pump myself up and get everything ready before pickup. 

They come home and the demands and arguing start. Snacks? Bath time? Who had the pony first? I feel myself starting to decline again but there is no break for me now. The drowning starts. I still try to continue with the fun activity I had planned but it becomes more challenging. By the time dinner needs to be started, I feel like I'm just barely holding on. They want me to play a game or do another activity after dinner but I can't even bring myself to even think about doing anything more.

By the time we get upstairs to get ready for bed, I am mentally unavailable but have to do two reading assignments. The words blur on the page and I wonder if I am speaking clearly. My husband will sometimes say he doesn't understand what I'm saying. I honestly don't understand what I'm saying by the end of the day! Sometimes I won't even remember reading the books. 

I carefully make my way back down the 20 steps to my couch where I live until it's bedtime. There are some nights where I barely say anything and just sit staring at the TV trying to recharge my brain. Wake up Erin! 

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